Ick’s Corner

After many many months of failed attempts to mail an ever so tasty bottle Tennessee’s Finest straight from the distillery as promised, I finally received my bottle. For those of you who have no idea what the significance behind this bottle is, allow me to bring you up to speed. The Bug is a huge Sooner fan, I am a huge Longhorn fan. Despite the fact that the Bug has convinced himself that God is a Sooners fan, we get along quite well.  Now as you all know there is a little game played every year called the Red River Shootout. We decided to place a small wager on the game, loser sends winner a bottle of their choice. Bug decided to take it one step further and offer up a bottle straight from the distillery. So now that your all up to speed let me give you some of the highlights behinds Jacks journey to Texas.

Now I know for a fact that this bottle of Jack was purchased a few days after the Longhorns beat  Oklahoma (45-35) because Bug called me and said he had secured the package, and would be mailing it out over the weekend. Well mailing Jack would proved more stressful then the Bug could ever imagine. The first attempt was met with epic failure because no one informed the Bug that he couldn’t mail alcohol over state lines. Armed with this information, the Bug felt sure he could get around such a silly rule. So he went home, and with the help of Mrs. Bug they packed up the bottle ever so tightly, and secure. The second attempt would also result in epic failure when asked what he was shipping, and the package was shook (hearing the sounds of liquid would spell disaster). I mean seriously who the hell shakes a package being sent to check for contraband!

Which brings us up to attempt 4,954, give the package to Mrs. Bug so she can try her hand at mailing Jack across state lines. This would result in the most EPIC failure of all, because Jack aged a few more months in the TRUNK OF HER CAR!

Not only was Jack going to waste in the trunk of her car, but my good friend Bug thought I was an ingrate. He probably started thinking I was just like every other Longhorn fan he had ever met.  Thanks to Susan at Fed-Ex Jack found his way to Texas. I can’t vouch to the truthfulness of the following comments, but I’d like to think that Susan and Stanley Goldstein share one thing in common, they both smoke crack! That is the only explanation for the thought that Sam Bradford (OU QB) would be drafted way before Colt McCoy (UT QB)!

“Susan Pictured here was helpful enough.  She agrees that OU was robbed and that McCoy will probably be drafted way behind Bradford next year.  Oh, and that I am pretty great looking”.

At this point I can only speculate if Susan finds the same simple pleasures in life as Stanley Goldstein, like punching small babies in the face, while enjoying pork products such as bacon!  The Bug and I have decided next year we are going to make it easier on eachother, and just bet cash!

Thanks buddy, I have not decided if I’m going to crack open this bottle now, or wait until October 10th.  I would also like to add one final note. Thank you Mrs. Bug because I know you came up with the genius packing job for Jack. I know that a SOONER fan could never come up with a plan to mail alcohol across state lines. See attempts (1-3) as example of this!