Disclosure: I DID NOT WRITE THIS!!!!! This was found in The Onion by my good friend Migman. Spare me the scourge of emails and comments…. I thought it was kinda funny.
Tony Womo Out Three To Four Weeks With Bwoken Widdle Fingey
The Cowboys are denying rumors that Womo will require weconstwuctive pinkie surgewy, insisting that it is only a bad owie and that Womo will not be placed on injuwed weserve.
“Tony has been very, very bwave through all this and barely cried at all when he heard his widdle fingey was in fact bwoken,” coach Wade Phillips said Monday, explaining that Womo was “westing comfiwy” and watching cartoons at home and had thus far managed to keep his pinkie out of his mouth. “I’d say he’s week to week, but it’s up to the team medics to say when he’s completely all-better-now.”
The Cowboys originally sensed something was wrong when Womo threw three straight incomplete passes to begin the overtime after being sacked three times and knocked down 19 times during regulation by meanie-bullies who hate him. Their suspicions were confirmed when Womo blubbered to them on the sidelines while holding up his hurted fingey.
Womo was immediately given an orange-flavored St. Joseph aspirin and a wowwypop while a SpongeBob SquarePants Band-Aid was applied to the pinkie. When this proved inadequate, Cowboys head pediatrician Daniel “Doctor Danny” Cooper inspected Womo’s pinkie while trainers distracted Womo by making a spoon into an airplane and “flying” chocolate ice cream into the quarterback’s mouth.
“This was more than just the normal boo-boo,” Cooper told reporters. “Tony has played through boo-boos before, like any team weader and big gwown-up boy has to. But when I saw the quivering chin, the big wet eyes, and the way he was hopping from foot to foot while holding up his widdle bitty widdy fingey, I knew this one was bad.”
The NFL said no fine would be given on the hit, as it seemed to be an honest accident and no flag for roughhousing the passer was thrown on the play. It is not known whether Womo will stomp his widdle foot and complain louder to the NFL regarding the decision.
Phillips confirmed that 40-year-old backup quarterback Brad Johnson will start as long as Womo’s pinkie is still an ouchie pinkie.
“It’s unfortunate for the poor tyke to have to go through something like this,” said Johnson, who hasn’t started an NFL game since 2006. “But you know, when they’re little quarterbacks they sometimes take big spills. This will just make Tony-wony tougher when he grows up. I hope.”
In other Cowboys news, Adam “Pacman” Jones is still grounded for the rest of his life, or at least until he learns to stop back-sassing, and receiver Terrell Owens is listed as “probable” for Sunday’s game despite suffering a chronic case of turf piggy.
6 responses so far ↓
1 TexasFred // Oct 24, 2008 at 3:56 pm
I have an *inside guy* on the Cowpies and I can’t give you ALL the details BUT, I heard Jessica Simpson was spending a lotta time in Dallas, rumor has it that she’s treating Tony Homo’s widdle finger by soaking it in her *Magic BooBoo Juice*… :devilsmiling:
TexasFreds last blog post..McCain Campaign Volunteer Admits Alleged Attack Was a Hoax
2 Robert // Oct 24, 2008 at 3:57 pm
FRED….. Damn :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Roberts last blog post..Sarah Palin outfits vs Joe Biden’s experience?
3 Kate // Oct 24, 2008 at 5:36 pm
Y’all scare me. :popcorn:
Kates last blog post..I’m Speechless
4 Ick // Oct 24, 2008 at 7:34 pm
Wow, there is a Texas Fred sighting on the Corner??? I’m honored! :clap:
Icks last blog post..Ouchie Poo: An Injury Report….
5 TexasFred // Oct 24, 2008 at 7:45 pm
:rotflmao: I never miss an opportunity to make fun of Tony Homo and the Cowpies!!
TexasFreds last blog post..Newspaper shows Obama belonged to socialist party
6 Babygirl AKA The Goddess of Ickville // Oct 25, 2008 at 10:45 am
OMG! :rotflmao: issues… loads of issues
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